Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Horror That Is "Educational Porn"

True story: While my wife and I visited a couple we know awhile ago I made the flippant remark that we were "post-sexual". They found this horrifying, for whatever reason, and slipped an "instructional" DVD into our luggage when we weren't looking. Today, with nothing better to do, we decided to give it a look-see.

Oh... my... god.

Its awful... horrible even... who watches these things? My wife thought that, given the general lack of quality, it must be some sort of "freebie" or giveaway. But lo! And behold! The Sinclair Institute is selling it on Amazon for real money. I'd write a detailed critique here, but some helpful Amazon consumers saved me the trouble:

He's right the people on the video are just horrid to look out instantly ruining the mood you were trying to capture by watching this with your spouse. There is a scene early on where a rather fat hairy pale guy whose image still haunts my mind is getting oral sex, and i have yet to make it past that scene and probably never will. All the sinclair videos i've seen have extremely gorgeous people on the ads and sometimes covers of the Dvd but no where in any of the tapes does anyone look remotely of the same caliber as the ads. It's hard to watch this, you most likely aren't going to learn a single new thing this is just going to be a waste of your money and then time.
and
1) A couple of the actors are not pleasing to look at, period!
2) The theme of the video is mostly concerned about okaying you that oral sex is okay.
3) I'd say this video is geared toward a very young couple who have never tried oral sex before.
4) The second time I watched it with a new girl friend, I almost fell asleep! LOL
I'll add to this that the "rather fat hairy pale guy" mentioned in the first comment couldn't seem to maintain an erection during the fellatio demonstrations. Not terribly instructional, yes?

Sweet jesus... I hope our friends didn't think that we'd actually learn something from this. It was neither erotic nor instructional... here's a hint for the Sinclair Institute folks: If you make a video entitled "Better Oral Sex Techniques" you should assume your audience has some oral sex techniques to begin with.

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